Following her heart to Surrogacy and Giving the gift of Life
“One of the hardest things of it all was, I pictured them seeing their baby for the first time… and I missed it.”
I won't be using names in this story, but hopefully I can give you a vision without names.
Imagine a little girl dancing, all excited to open the box with her new doll, the beginning of a dream to become a mother. She’s playing on the playground and singing the k-i-s-s-i-n-g song (you know the one that says first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage). Now she’s entering the dating world and choosing the one she envisioned being the father of her children, getting married, sharing dreams of laughter in their home.
And then it just shatters. All the while it seems that a million baby shower invites flood the mailbox, along with the many medical bills that seem so worthless. Time stands still, but the years keep going. And then the couple gets a positive test, only to be broken with a loss. This is followed by IVF, IUI, fertility drugs, countless injections.
But then, like an angel, the surrogate arrives offering her womb as a gift. An angel who felt led by God to give of herself the gift of life, an amazing gift that most people cannot even fathom. The gift of a couple having a baby of their own, a part of them in the womb of a mother herself. A mother who once carried her own children.
The surrogate follows what she felt led to do, praying each day for a baby that isn’t her own, getting excited each time there is a milestone in the pregnancy, but also feeling sad that the mother-to-be can’t experience the joys of pregnancy. She watches the parents’ excitement as they see the heartbeat. She rubs her belly and talks to the baby about her parents that love her so much. Her own daughter talks to the baby inside her, a baby she knows her parents won't keep, but who is a gift to a couple who longed for a baby of their own.
The surrogate attends the baby shower to celebrate a baby that would eventually leave her womb and be in the arms of her mother. She envisions the day the baby will arrive. She can’t wait to see the excitement on the couple’s faces, the couple that she was able to complete their dream of becoming parents. And then the moment arrives to bring closure to a door she felt led to open. The time comes, and it’s a fast labor. The parents live hours away, and arrive shortly after the birth.
I asked the surrogate if there was sadness there, and her response was, “One of the hardest things of it all was, I pictured them seeing their baby for the first time… and I missed it. I didn’t realize how I needed that.” Four hours after the birth, she was able see the proud parents with their new baby. So much thankfulness and happiness. Fulfillment of what she felt led to do. So very powerful.
She also told me there was no attachment ever felt towards the baby that was growing inside her, that the only feeling was happiness for the family that longed to be parents. She said it was so different than carrying her own. When the baby was born, she didn't need the baby mentally, but she did tell me how her body physically yearned for a baby, a feeling that faded three weeks after delivery.
One of the many gifts from the mother to the surrogate was a memory frame of the baby she carried under her heart and a pair of cross earrings to represent her faith to follow where God leads her.
What a beautiful story. I struggled with infertility for many years. Those days were long. In fact, time seemed like a blur. Every year that passed without a baby in my arms was like another part of my heart was literally breaking apart. It consumed my every thought. The pain I felt was so very real. This story touches me so.
Until next Tuesday,
The Waco Storyteller